Hogan has totally vanished – PS We’re not Soap Smugglers

Many of you have sent me links to articles similar to this one regarding the smuggling of dishwasher detergent into Spokane from out of state/city:

First, I’d like to thank AirAmerica for including my sort – the SAHDiNK – by referring to the househusbands along with the housewives in this article.  I must tell you how frustrating it is to read article after article about stay at home types and only see the word “wife” in conjunction with the word “house”.  I find it oh so offensive and commend AirAmerica for standing up for The HouseHusband.  Now, yes, this soap smuggling seems to be a big controversy.  To the point that I overheard The Early Show discussing the issue on national television while working in my home-office.  Yes, Mike & Jersey Jen (from Michigan) – I overheard the TV in the family room while I was working in the office – I wasn’t watching.  The issue seems to be that the Spokane River has become an endangered river because of industrial dumping.  I don’t get it.  I was at the Spokane Falls last week and it looks rather clean to me.  I didn’t see garbage floating or oil seeping from the water.  It looked pretty fresh to me – I would swim in it if it weren’t traveling at 1,000 miles an hour – though it might be fun to try to tube it at least once. I’m rambling

For those of you who have inquired about this issue, I’m here to set the record straight.  We are NOT smuggling  illegal dishwasher detergents into Spokane.  Let me repeat my self: We are absolutely, unequivocally NOT smuggling in Electrosol Finish® All in 1 PowerBall® Tabs – Fresh Scent dishwasher detergent, even though it is far superior to the Palmolive Eco-Friendly brand we bought that doesn’t Frerking (big ups to The Greatest Vet of All Time, Dr. Thad Frerking) work worth a lick.

Now that that’s settled, I thought I’d tell you an interesting find I had two days ago.  First, a little back story.  The Wife and I decided last year to join the couple who introduced us on a little trip.  I’m sure all of you parents and dog owners can relate to this – what do you do with your kid(s)?  In the case of the couple joining us, they were able to have their parents take their daughter for the time we’re away.  But what do you do with an 11 month old vizsla puppy?  The Wife’s aunt & uncle graciously offered, but it seems like every time Hogan visits their home, he’s destroying something.  You’ll probably remember the Wednesday Night Soup incident of 2008 where The gUrt was officially banned from their home by me in an effort to skirt the imminent ban by The Wife’s aunt and uncle.  There’s always the Kennel, but the last time he came back from there, he didn’t have a voice and slept for 3 days straight, so we weren’t too keen on that idea either.  I know Babs would watch him, but there’s the issue of getting him to Denver.  OOOh – wouldn’t it be great to send him to Donnie Boom Boom and Nanc?  We’d never be invited back.  What to do, what to do…

Well, the best option was to take The Big Guy and Mama J up on their offer to watch him for the week.  We’ve done the same for them and watched their dogs, so how hard can it be, right?  I mean  what’s the worst he’s done whilst visiting The Big Guy and Mama J?  HHHmmm – well let’s start with the latest incident: the new Rattan Pet Residence.  About a month ago, we were visiting Walla Walla and there on the doorstep were two brand new Rattan Pet Residences for the Big Guy and me to assemble.  While we were assembling it, I asked The Big Guy if he thought the dogs would chew through the wicker side panels.  His reply was a surprisingly stern “No, they won’t,” as if he had had a sit down with the dogs and discussed the consequences of chewing on the wicker hotel.  Well, apparently he didn’t have that conversation with The gUrt because last weekend, The gUrt did some remodeling to the hotel he was visiting and added an ocean view window.  Just so you know, you can purchase replacement side panels directly from Mr Herzhers…though it helps to know what size the Rattan Pet Residence was before you make the call.

Remodeling the Rattan Pet Residence wasn’t the only incident.  They’ve had to replace several sleeping pads because of incessant chewing.  Oh, and then there was the Nativity Scene incident during Christmas of 2008 where Hogan & Vinnie ran into the front entry full blast and broke an angel, I think a shepherd, and gave baby Jesus a good wack to the skull on the glass table.  Then, there was the reverse potty training we did with The gUrt where he apparently un-learned his bathroom skills and peed everywhere in their house.  Lets just say I’m worried that we may not be invited back to Walla Walla when we return from our trip.

There was an interesting outcome to this story.  In order for everything to work out, we decided it was best to leave Hogan in Walla Walla while we were visiting the weekend before we left.  Of course, we decided that after we had already left Walla Walla, had visited GPat and GrandpaNorm in Lewiston, Idaho and then were on our way back to Spokane.  We agreed that The Wife’s aunt would pick up The gUrt one morning during the week and take him back to Lewiston, where she was to see Mama J and visit GPat and GrandpaNorm.  Then Mama J would take him back with Vinnie to Walla Walla until we returned from our trip.

That morning, I was working in my office and it was about time for The Wife’s aunt to arrive.  I decided I would go spend some time with The gUrt as I knew I would miss him.  It’s funny, working from home, he and I are always together.  We’re together to the point that a lot of the time, if I’m running an errand, I’ll take him with me.  He really is my best friend.  I knew it was going to be hard being away from him for so long, and The Wife was feeling the same.  Hogan must have sensed it because when I went looking for him, I couldn’t find him anywhere.  It was like he totally vanished.  As I passed by the bedroom, I noticed that the bed was in major disarray.  Normally, I wouldn’t think twice about this because I usually make the bed as I hear the garage door lifting – signaling that The Wife is home and I’d better quickly pick up the house and shower before she finds out that The gUrt & I have been partying all day.  But because we were expecting company that day, I had made the bed earlier that morning.  Walking by and finding the bed totally destroyed, I figured out what was going on.  I walked in and quickly realized – The gUrt wasn’t sleeping, he was hiding.  He had totally burrowed his way under the pillows and two comforters in hope that whatever was going on would pass him by.

I’m absolutely amazed by animals and their natural intuition – their ability to read us.

The gUrt's Remodeling Project

The gUrt's Remodeling Project

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4 Responses to Hogan has totally vanished – PS We’re not Soap Smugglers

  1. dansbrother says:

    You TiVo the Early Show? Why? You don’t like the mid-day news?

  2. dansbrother says:

    Air America is still in business? Well, maybe in Spokane, I guess.

  3. dansbrother says:

    Psst, Ash. I think [The Wife] reads your blog. You might want to ixnay the akesmay edbay ightray eforebay eshay etgay omehay.

  4. Ash Boodel says:

    Yes, she reads it. But she thinks I’m joking! And yes, AirAmerica is still in business. Surprisingly. Mid-day news sucks.

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