Welcome to the Biguyland – Part 2

We decided about halfway through the trip to start pronouncing The Big Island as “The Biguyland” (biGw-eye-land).  This was due to Devin telling us how someone he knew from Long Island, NY pronounced it “Longuyland” (lon-Gw-eye-land).  We thought that was funny and thus it is now The Biguyland.  The Biguyland is really amazing.  So much to do there with it being the biggest of the islands.  Plus, the max speed there is 55 unlike all the other islands where it’s 35.  You can get around a heck of a lot quicker than the others.  Good thing too because the Biguyland is the biggest by far.  We really enjoyed the area.  Here is the rundown of our week:

Saturday
After a 6 hour flight from Seattle to Kona Airport, we arrived.  Robyn & Devin we’re to arrive about an hour and a half before and get the car rental.  When we arrived, we couldn’t find them.  My cellphone wasn’t working {Frerking (big ups to The Greatest Vet of All Time, Dr. Thad Frerking) AT&T and their service} and The Wife couldn’t get them on the phone – straight to voicemail.  After about 45 minutes of beating my phone on the baggage claim conveyer belt and then restarting it, we found out that their flight was delayed in San Franisco because the cargo door on the plane wouldn’t shut.  I’ll bet it was just a seat belt caught in the door that no one saw.  Trying to be ahead of the game and being that Devin was behind schedule because of his “seat belt” incident, I decided to pick up the rental car.  I tried to rent the car from National Car Rental, but since my name wasn’t Devin and I wasn’t an Emerald Member, they showed me the door – to the bus back to the airport.  The driver laughed at me.

When Robyn and Devin finally got in 2 hours later, we were finally on our way.  Well, sort of.  We had planned on going to Costco on the way to our condo.  If you’ve ever been to Hawai’i, you’ll realize that there are only 4 rental cars to choose from (Ronnie Drama warned me of this): a Mustang Convertible, a Jeep Wrangler, a Chevy Malibu or a Chevy Impala.  That’s it.  Lucky, Devin’s Emerald Membership scored him an upgrade: the Chevy Impala.  I only say luckily, because we had 4 golf bags, The Wife’s giant suitcase (that is always over weight and we always have to move items from it into another bag), two duffel bags, one computer bag, The Wife’s Coach Old Lady Purse (which carries everything that wouldn’t fit in the giant suitcase), two purses and my leather travel set (Johnston and Murphy laptop case and carry on suitcase that I bought because I wanted to be like Scott Robertson).  Here’s what fit in the trunk: The wife’s giant suitcase.  The rest of the luggage was strategically placed in the car and we sat indian style on bags all the way to the condo – we decided to go to Costco later as we didn’t have room for groceries with all the luggage.  After a run to  Costco we stopped back by the condo and then headed to LuLu’s.  It’s a nice restaurant – kind of a college style place that you know gets really crazy on weekends and holidays.  I had a Hawaiian Chicken Burger and it was delightful.

LuLu's Fine Dining

LuLu's Fine Dining


Sunday
After waking up, I opened the Kashi cereal we bought at Costco.  It wasn’t my choice, but the ladies wanted it.  As I opened the box, I noticed that the bag was already opened.  Gross.  I threw that bag out.  After breakfast, we took Robyn to the pharmacy to get some medicine.  Her ear blew up.  While she and Devin waited, I hopped across the street to the Sack ‘N Save or whatever it was across the street.  I should have know this was going to be a failed attempt at shopping by the presence of oil stains in every single parking spot in the parking lot.  The ground beef didn’t look so good, but I was OK with it – hey, it’s vacation.  I started looking for the only cheese I’ll ever eat, Tillamook Cheddar, and settled for a second best Kraft version.  Then I went to get Simply Orange orange juice.  No luck – with that, I abandoned the store all together and headed up the hill for the Safeway.  There, I found everything I needed, including the very last package of Tillamook Cheddar Cheese.

We then headed over to the Mauna Kea Resort for the best brunch buffet I’ve ever eaten.  It was amazing – $50 a person and we ate like kings.  Devin at about $100 worth of sushi – to the point that the sushi chef was making custom orders for him.  He didn’t even eat fish before the trip.  After brunch, we headed down to the beach at the Mauna Kea Resort.  Amazing beach – great waves for body surfing, lots of people watching, good frisbee tossing.  After frying ourselves there, we headed back to the condo and started dinner – my famous, secret Sliders.  As I brought the burgers in from the grill, I saw a look of horror on the girl’s faces – something had gotten into our Hawaiian Sweet Rolls and had eaten half of one, foil pan and all.  They were so grossed out that I don’t think my Sliders were a very big hit.  We later found out that the short 2 minute stay on the front stairs was all a mongoose needed to grab a bite before the rolls were taken into the condo.  Too bad we found that out after we called maintenance and had them set some traps.    When we grabbed the Tillamook Cheddar Cheese from Safeway, it was moldy.  Apparently, I missed the gaping whole in the package.  No wonder it was the last one.  My bad.

Mauna Kea Beach

Mauna Kea Beach

Monday
After some exploration of the area on foot, we headed over to the Makalai Golf Club to play our first of two days of golf.  I hadn’t played in a year and a half, so I didn’t play so well.  It’s a beautiful course, very tropical.  There were peacocks everywhere and one time, when The Wife was swinging, one whistled at her like a construction worker.  The course is really amazing – it’s on the mountainside so you’re either teeing uphill or down.  After golf, we stopped at The Kona Brewing Company.  They make some great beers – The Longboard LagerWailua Wheat and Big Wave are my favorites.  I also had the Fire Rock Pale Ale which I’m not a huge fan of, but it was good.  Pizzas and beer after golf, not a bad way to go!

Makalei Golf Club

Makalei Golf Club

Kona Brewing Company

Kona Brewing Company

Tuesday
With a full day ahead of us, we went for a drive to the north side of the island.  We drove through Waimea which is a cool little town.  If you head north of Waimea, the road ends at a valley called Waipi’o.  It’s absolutely breathtaking.  As I sat and gazed over the edge of the cliff, down about 1,000 feet at the valley floor and the lava beach below, I heard Devin come out of the bathroom and say, “144.”  The Wife asked for clarification and he replied “144 people were raped and murdered in that bathroom.”  The beautiful view was soon clouded by the water in my eyes from laughing so hard.  After leaving the viewpoint, we headed back to Kona and stopped at Hapuna Beach, just north of Kona.  Again, great beach, very similar to Mauna Kea Resort beach.  Lots of people, lots of body surfing.  The waves started getting big there and I wished I had a surfboard – and that I knew how to surf.  We left Hapuna Beach and headed over to the Hilton Resort.  Woah – that’s a big place.  They have a tram that travels around the property.  There’s a huge lagoon in the middle and pools everywhere.  You can even swim with dolphins.  Next, we headed over to the Merrimans Market Cafe for some dinner.  We ordered some Mai Tai’s and hummus.  Good stuff.  With a limited menu, we then headed over to the Kona Inn Restaurant for some fish.  I had the Mahi Mahi, The Wife had Ahi, Devin had blackened Ahi, and Robyn had some stuffed tasty fish.  Great restaurant, great service, though I did feel a little bad because our server had a lithp and I quoted Sean Aston’s character from 50 First Dates, not realizing the server was behind me.  Me and my damn inappropriate mouth!

Waipi'o Valley

Waipi'o Valley

Wednesday
Devin and I went over to the Kona Country Club and hit some balls while the girls headed over to The Kona Farmers Market, which they thoroughly enjoyed.  They would have bought pineapples there, but we bought 3 when we shopped on Saturday.  Good old Costco – putting the farmers out of business.  After a hiatus at the pool, we headed over and played The Ocean Course at Kona Country Club.  It was a nice little course.  It was no Makalai Golf Club, but was still nice.  Much flatter.  I played significantly better.  The Ocean Course is a little deceiving as there are only technically 3 or 4 holes actually on the ocean.  The rest are surrounded by condos. It didn’t bother me…I liked it anyway.  After golf, we headed back to the condo, did some pool time and grilled up the steaks we bought at Costco with my famous, secret steak recipe.  The MongooseTM did not eat those.  We did have quite a few margaritas and I believe there may have been some pictures taken of a couple of dudes climbing on the lava rock by the ocean.

Kona Country Club

Kona Country Club

Thursday
I’m not going to cover this day for two reasons:

  1. This post is getting absurdly long
  2. Devin is going to write about our Thursday Adventures as my new guest blogger.

Friday
We began our day at Lava Java, a quaint little breakfast joint in Kona.  Breakfast there is AWESOME!  I had the 18 Wheeler, even though it wasn’t on the menu (I ordered it at some restaurant once, don’t remember the name).  Our last day together as Robyn and Devin were to head back to the Main Land, we decided to beach it.  There were two beaches to choose from – one was a short drive from the main road and about a 15 minute walk, the other was a longer, rough road drive and about a 5 minute walk.  We opted for the shorter walk.  The beach is called Mahaiula Beach and you have to take a road that us pretty unkept.  We were behind a Dodge mini-truck and the driver was acting like it was a really technical road.  It seemed like it took forever to get there.  Once we arrived, we hiked in with 4 chairs, two beach bags and looked like total tourists.  We fit right in, because so did everyone else.  Now this beach was really pretty, but it was a pretty heavy slope.  The water was sitting on a lava bed, so it was very difficult to manuever, plus it sloped so much, you couldn’t really go very much body surfing.  It was pretty breathtaking though, so we didn’t complain.  Afterward, we headed back to the condo and swam for a short stint, then headed to Costco for some gifts to take back and then round 2 at LuLu’s.  The Wife and I weren’t that hungry so we split an apertief.  After taking Robyn and Devin to the airport, we went back to Kona and ate a late dinner at Huggo’s.  It was really nice – seaside, it was actually situated over the ocean.  There were wave crashing right up to the rocks below our table.  Really romantic as you can guess, we headed back to the condo and called it a night.  That’s right folks, a nice romantic dinner and then we passed out cold.  Welcome to married life!

Mahaiula Beach

Mahaiula Beach

Saturday:
After waking up and heading over to Lava Java for breakfast, I scoured Kona for a Volcom T-Shirt I really wanted, but World Core Surf Shop didn’t have in a large.  Of course, Robyn and Devin are perfect human specimens that fit into EVERYTHING, and wouldn’t you know, they had the shirt in a medium and he bought it.  I think he did it to get under my skin.  I think this because he wore it 3 times during the trip.  Damn World Core.  We didn’t find the shirt and had to head to the airport.  That was the last I saw of Kona, other than the occaisional websearch trip down memory lane because we didn’t bring camera chargers so we have no photos!

My Volcom T-Shirt that Devin Snagged

My Volcom T-Shirt that Devin Snagged

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2 Responses to Welcome to the Biguyland – Part 2

  1. Robyn Asbury says:

    Wow, what a trip! The Biguyland was an incredible time…especially in the eyes of Ash Boodel. The only guy that can make me laugh while reading a blog!

  2. Ash Boodel says:

    Well thank you Mrs. Asbury! Glad to hear you’re reading. Hawaii was AMAZING! Thanks so much for showing us a new place! And make sure Devin writes Welcome to the Biguyland – Part 3!

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